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The day I lost my daughter...

The last 2-years have really pushed us to work through our deepest fears, fear of death, of our children's death, fear of not being in control of our immune system and others actions, fear of being abandoned and judged, fear of being oppressed and controlled...

In particular, many of us with children who have experienced vaccine injury are really doing it tough right now. I know for myself the continued sanctions and judgement against those who choose not to vaccinate triggers trauma in me daily, particularly as children vaccination are rolled out. Many clients sessions have been focussed on this as well.

I wanted to start this message with 'The Day I Lost My Daughter'. But even now I tear up in anticipation of telling it and I hesitate. It's not the story you think it is, I have never spoken publicly about this before, the PTSD was too severe...

It's the day my youngest daughter reacted to the MMR vaccine, she started screaming a high-pitched scream as her arm blew up to twice the size it was. She didn't stop screaming for hours.

The Doctor came in and said she’s had a reaction, but there was never any talk of monitoring it or even reporting it and so it is not “official”.

I had been very nervous about giving it to her in the first place, she had reacted to previous immunisations, even though we were doing a lot to support her detox processes already. But she had an egg allergy - with the “No Jab No Play” policy she couldn’t attend Kindergarten/Childcare without it and only children who were anaphylactic to eggs were exempt.

I remember the nurse saying to me, “Are you sure you want to do this….?” And I said “I have no choice”.

Well I learnt the hard way that you always have a choice, sometimes the choice is hard and uncomfortable but it is there.She was diagnosed with PANS a few months after, along with my other daughter who already had severe PANs a form of AutoImmune Encephalitis - I needed to resign from my career anyway to care for them, there was no “Play” for them for many years.

It was never clear-cut what role the vaccine reaction played, there were so many other factors, mold exposure, strep and staph infections, food allergies, viruses. I never felt confident publicly speaking about this experience, that it would withstand the cold-hearted scrutiny that these kinds of experiences receive.

It is a very painful experience to have the most traumatic time of your life not heard, validated, and even derided as 'selfish'. The gaslighting experience on social media daily is horrific.

However, this screaming persisted on and off for nearly 4-years and much PANS treatment. My daughter was 3 at the time and remembers it, she still yells 'No Needles!' whenever someone mentions even a blood test or a finger prick test.

The brain-cry screaming finally ceased last year with a few months of homeopathic MMR detox. This gave me the certainty to start 'owning' it.

Why did I leave it so long? Well that's a post in itself, we often resist the treatments that can have the most profound shifts, the ones that are the most emotionally charged - if she responded to the MMR detox then the PANS was my 'fault' (don't worry, I know that is not true, but trauma is not rational).

The last few months I have been healing these wounds within myself in order that I may be able to speak more publicly about my experience and support others more - this is still very confronting for me to post this on social media - my heart is beating fast, my hands are shaking.

One of the questions that often comes up with vaccine injury - why did my children experience this? Why not others? The answer is a myriad of different environmental, emotional and genetic factors, as you most likely know.

From a meta-physical perspective the insight that I have received this year from channellings in healing sessions and also in the themes that come up in the homeopathic treatment of vaccine-injured children has been enlightening and so I share it with you now in the hope that it will activate healing in you and your children.

For many of those that react to vaccines there is a traumatic response to the needle itself not just what is in it, it is experienced as a violent assault, a violation or abuse of power, which sets off a cascade of reactions within the body. An outside force comes in suddenly and creates this life-altering response that that they have no control over.

Our experience with the vaccine mandates are the same - an outside force is imposing on us something that will have life-changing consequences and we do not have any control over it.

Not only are these mandates bringing up the trauma from our children's vaccine injuries they are bringing up ALL trauma from violation, oppression, and a loss of autonomy. Which is why it feels soo BIG.

Many families with vaccine reactions have traumatic family histories. We came into this life programmed from our ancestors and our own past-life experiences to have this 'reaction' to this violation of our physical boundary.

The good news is that we are here now in order to HEAL from these experiences. This painful experience of the global mandates is occurring right now in order that we CAN heal from it. It is shining a light on the areas of our energetic coding that are no longer serving us. In order that we can heal the family-line from these past traumas and patterning.

So my message today is to take advantage of this opportunity, do not avoid the pain by staying in anger and judgement and through continually 'fighting the battle'.

Yes, I also feel this deep anger and disgust, it is a natural protective mechanism from the horror and grief underling it.

So feel the anger, all of the anger. We were let down by those who were supposed to be protecting us. Not only that when we had this experience we were ignored, shamed and persecuted for these experiences. Medical gaslighting is still my main C-PTSD trigger.

Take action to protect the rights of your children and your body autonomy.

But don't stop there, don't get stuck.

Or we risk perpetuating the manifestation of vaccine injury - our energy and unconscious beliefs (patterning) create our reality.

Huge planetary shifts will occur when we go beyond the anger, we allow ourselves to feel the heartbreak and horror, and collectively we heal this deep line of violation and oppression trauma resonating through-out the world.

When we return back into a heart-centred state of trusting that we are the biggest co-creators of our reality, that we have ultimate higher-control over ALL of our experiences, that it is all serving us for our highest good, AND that our bodies can heal from anything, and when enough of us do this, then we can heal this deep vaccine-injury patterning from our families and the world.

This doesn't mean that we all then need to get vaccinated, it means that this mandate experience will fall away, it will no longer be needed as a mirror, because the healing has occurred.

Now before you feel pressured to 'heal' I want to add that I have worked on healing these themes within my family and myself for years, there are many layers to it and it is NOT EASY.

I am not 100% there yet. I have required the support of my mentors to dig deep and see the layers that I can't. I still cringe when I get invited to venues and events that have signs everywhere saying only those vaccinated are allowed to enter - I still feel persecuted.

The clients I have held space for through this experience have also had many layers coming up for them, it is not a one and done kinda deal.

Experiencing vaccine injury completely disrupts all of those beliefs in the sanctity of the body and its ability to heal, as well as trust in higher “authorities” who are supposed to be there to protect us. It gives us the message that what we experienced is wrong, shameful and of no importance for the “greater good”.

It is a long journey back to healing the trauma held in our nervous system from this continued experience.

I am truly humbled and so grateful for the millions of people in Australia who are campaigning for an end to the mandates right now, when they haven’t experienced vaccine injury themselves. I cried and cried at the first march that I attended, to feel so many people supporting me finally after so many years of our experience being denied.

And so I end with a request from those that have not had this experience to hold this intention that "We are the biggest co-creators of our reality and our bodies can heal from anything" for us until we are able to do so for ourselves. This is the healing intention that I now hold for my family and for my clients.

I also request that you join us in speaking up for an end to these mandates, because it is often too traumatic for us to do this ourselves.

Every day you continue to abide by this system you condone it - I know it is not that simple. Small steps you can start with are by:

- Not automatically showing your passport in places, many places don’t ask for it unless you show it and then they feel like they have to ask or they will get reported.

- When they do ask you can respectfully point out that it is discrimination and that they do have a choice whether to ask.

- You can also arrange to do group functions in a way that includes everyone.

The more people sharing this message the more the government will have to act.


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